


What did you just say?

by agoodpersonrose



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, David loves Patrick, David loves and is loved, Declarations Of Love, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Love You, If You Squint - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Patrick loves David, Running away from your problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23613994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agoodpersonrose/pseuds/agoodpersonrose
Summary: Imagine Patrick had never got the nerve to say I love you first and instead David does, and panics, and runs away.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose
Comments: 11
Kudos: 199





	What did you just say?

David wakes up early on the Thursday of the first week at Patrick’s new apartment. It was his day off from the store which would usually mean he’d sleep until the early afternoon and laze around the motel. However, Patrick still had to get up, and he could hear the sounds of his boyfriend shuffling around the apartment getting ready for the day.

He sat up in the bed, stretching his arms above his head and looking around slowly. Patrick noticed the movement and approached the bed, holding a large black and white mug he had bought David after the moving in confusion, and handed it over.

David took a small sniff of the caramel coffee, and leaned up to accept a kiss, “Mm, good morning.” He mumbled as he placed it on the bed side table and reached to link his arms around Patrick’s neck, pulling him down for a more passionate kiss before he could retreat.

“Morning beautiful, I’m heading to the store soon, are you doing anything on your day off?”

“Mm-mm, nope, just gonna hang around here I think, thank you for the coffee.” David replied, reluctantly letting him go and lying back down on the bed.

“That’s okay, I’ll see you later on?”

“Yep, I love you.”

Both David and Patrick froze, David gaped, covering his mouth with both hands as he sat back up.

“Wh- what did you just say?” Patrick asked, still stood half hunched over next to the bed.

“N- nothing!”

“David--”

“Stop it!” David exclaimed, moving towards Patricks side of the bed to climb out and rush towards the small bathroom, “go away!”

“David I--” Patrick started, trying to follow him, with his arms out as if to placate him.

“Don’t.” David growled harshly, “you need to go to work.”

“I--” Patrick trailed off as the bathroom door slammed shut. He looked around at the empty room dejectedly and hesitated for a while longer until he heard the shower start to run and had to leave in a rush to make it to the store on time.

***

David sighed as he stood under the shower head, hot water doing little to release the tension that had built up in his neck and back. He held his head under the stream, wetting his hair and letting himself heave a small sob as he covered his face with his hands.

It wasn’t that David didn’t love Patrick; in fact, he had been holding himself back on saying it since the Open Mic Night almost a year ago. It was just that everyone knew that David didn’t say those words, not even really to his own family who had taught him that cold, withdrawn affection was the expected behaviour even as a young child.

Patrick knew that he didn’t say that. Even though it was probably strange that they had been in a relationship for so long without saying it, neither could bring themselves to break the silent agreement they had made to withhold such open affection.

And David knew that Patrick loved him back. There was no doubt in that, in the way that Patrick looked at him, and treated him with such careful reverence that David had never before experienced. He had no doubt that the next words to come out of Patrick’s mouth would have been the return of those words.

But he couldn’t accept them. Not from Patrick, the human embodiment of a perfect ideal. He had already pushed his luck and gotten too excited about moving in together, rushing ahead and assuming they’d be together years down the line, and David refused to make that mistake again. He knew his relationship was Patrick was a temporary stop, one that he was lucky to get to experience, but one that would inevitably end with Patrick finding someone more put together, more calm and collected, with less of a messy history and messy family than David could ever provide.

So, he refused to accept it. He wouldn’t let his feelings for Patrick distract him from that fact and he refused to make the inevitable end harder than it had to be by letting himself imagine even for a moment that this could last.

He washed himself quickly and harshly in the shower, rubbing his hands over his face with none of the dutiful care that he usually showed his morning routine.

Once out of the bathroom, he threw on his softest Givenchy sweater and headed out of the apartment, giving it one last look before rushing out towards the motel.

***

Once he arrived in the motel, he threw himself down on his bed and sighed, jumping slightly when Alexis appeared out of the bathroom in her running kit.

“Ew, David.” She said dramatically, “what are you doing back here, don’t you have a button boyfriend with an apartment that you can stay at now?” She stopped as she looked down at her brother, who had covered his face with his hands and was breathing quickly, “David?” she asked, approaching carefully as if not to startle him, “David you need to breathe.”

She kneeled down on the right side of the bed and lightly gripped David’s wrists which were still pinned to his face.

“Deep breaths, David, in and out, like that monk in the New Hebrides taught us.”

David’s breaths began to slow, and he felt the outright panic leave his body, being replaced by an aching head and exhaustion. Alexis waited patiently as he calmed down and began speaking again when she was satisfied that he was listening.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She asked, in an out-of-character hushed voice.

David shook his head, and then hesitated, weighing it over.

“Okay, well, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” Alexis started, “but I’m sure whatever it is will seem a lot smaller if you tell someone about it.”

“I told Patrick I loved him.” David blurted out, eyes screwed shut.

Alexis paused in contemplation before replying slowly, “and what did he say back?”

“Nothing, I didn’t let him, I was awful I basically kicked him out of his own apartment and yelled at him to leave me alone. He must be so mad.”

“Okay, so, whilst that doesn’t sound like the most romantic of situations, you know Patrick does love you right?” She asked, as if pointing out the obvious.

“it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“He shouldn’t.” David said simply.

“He shouldn’t what?”

“He shouldn’t love me, and if he does then one day he’s going to find out that it wasn’t really love, or if it is, then he’s going to realise that falling in love with me is like a ticking time bomb to his own destruction and he’s going to run away. Or even worse, he’s not, and he’s going to stay with me and silently hate me for making him stay!”

Alexis looked startled at David’s outburst, and stroked his forearms pathetically in what she hoped was a soothing manner.

“Wow, well, that’s a lot David.” She said, “But you know, you don’t really have a right to decide whether or not he loves you, you know that, right?”

David nodded, wiping a stray tear that had spilled down his cheek.

“And, I think, that if you told Patrick that you felt like this, then he would be really upset, and he would try to make you feel better.” Alexis sighed, “also, he’d probably do a much better job of it than I am.”

David laughed lightly at this and sat up, pulling his sister into a loose hug, “thank you, Alexis.”

At this, Alexis perked up, hugging him back for a moment before leaning back to boop his nose, “talk to your boyfriend.” She said cheerfully, “he’s not like the other ones, this ones nice.”

“I know, I will.”

At this, Alexis seemed satisfied, and flounced out the room to go on her run. Almost as soon as she had left the room, David’s phone rang, he looked at Patrick’s contact photo flashing up on the screen, a picture that Stevie had taken of the two of them on a night in the store. Patrick was sat on David’s knee, his arms slung loosely round his neck and he was smiling widely, the lines by his eyes framing his brown eyes in the low light of the closed shop.

He let the call ring out, and looked at his phone, he had five missed messages from Patrick.

_09:10 Just wanted to let you know that I got to the store fine._

_10:01 We sold some of those scented shampoo bars you bought._

_10:23 Can you please reply when you see these?_

_10:28 We don’t have to talk about it, I won’t even bring it up, I just want to know that you’re okay._

_10:30 Please can you respond?_

David huffed, feeling tears welling up in his eyes again as he looked round the room. He screwed up his face in thought and stood from the bed, leaving the room and heading towards Stevie’s office.

***

When he entered, Stevie was sat in her usual spot behind the desk, playing some sort of online game on the computer. When she heard the door she looked up and smiled slightly, before schooling her expression back into her usual judgemental glare.

“Hello stranger, haven’t seen you in a while.” She joked, but it didn’t land and she looked confused when David winced uncomfortably, “are you okay?” she asked slowly.

“Can we not talk about it?” David asked.

“Not talk about what?” Stevie asked innocently, batting her eyelashes at him.

“I know Patrick will have texted you.”

Stevie was silent for a minute before nodding slowly, “he didn’t tell me what you argued about if that makes you feel better.”

“Mm, it wasn’t an argument, it was just, I don’t wanna think about it right now.” David replied tiredly, leaning up against the desk.

“O-kay.” Stevie replied, “look, if you wanted, I could get your Dad to cover me on the desk for today and take the day off? We could go out somewhere and catch up?”

David looked hopeful and stood up excitedly, “would you?” he asked, “only if you think it’s possible and don’t mind--”

“Honestly, I want a day off, and even not talking about whatever drama is going on with you is more interesting than bed bugs or solitaire.” She smiled as she stood up and came around the desk, punching him lightly in the arm, “give me two minutes to find your dad and we can go.”

***

The journey to Elmdale was passed in relative silence, the conversation restricted only to the recent Rose family antics, and the 2010 met gala. David’s phone continued to buzz intermittently, it seemed that Patrick was torn between giving him space to breathe, and desperation to get him to talk to him.

_12:14 Alexis just came in, she said she saw you leave with Stevie. Hope you have a good day, will you come back tonight?_

David didn’t respond again, and soon they were pulling up at a small hipster style cafe they had visited several times before ironically, before becoming hooked on the high quality of the coffee in comparison to the Café Tropical and visiting regularly ever since.

They took a small table in the corner, each sitting down with large mugs of coffee and a muffin each. David took a large bite of his, and Stevie chose this moment to pull him back into reality.

“Are you going to talk to Patrick about whatever it is that’s bothering you?” She asked plainly, responding to David’s glare with one of her own as she took small sips of her drink, “what? It just seems like you’re ignoring him, and you haven’t said what he’s done wrong.”

“He hasn’t done anything wrong.” David reflexively came to the defence of his boyfriend. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Hmm, well, it’s just you only order a blueberry muffin when you’re sad about Patrick.” Stevie said slowly, “you don’t even like blueberry so I don’t know why you do it but it seems to be a pattern.”

David blinked as he looked down at his snack, seemingly unaware of his own reflect in ordering, “Patrick always orders the blueberry muffin.” He says slowly, as if only just coming to terms with his own actions, “so it kind of tastes like him.”

“Okay first of all, that’s very gross.” Stevie responded, smiling as David screwed up his face at her in response, “and second of all, I know you better than you know yourself David Rose, and you are sad eating about Patrick.”

David placed the muffin down heavily on the plate and huffed, mumbling something incoherently under his breath.

“Sorry what was that? I couldn’t hear you.” Stevie said, putting a hand up to her ear and miming listening closer.

“I told Patrick I loved him this morning.”

“Ah.” Stevie replied understandingly, “did you even give him a chance to say it back?”

David rolled his eyes but shook his head sadly.

“David, you are my best friend, but you are also the dumbest person I have ever met, no let me finish!” She exclaimed as David opened his mouth to argue, “why won’t you let Patrick love you?”

“Because it’ll just hurt more when he doesn’t anymore, or when he can’t.”

“What, you won’t say I love you to your boyfriend because he might die??”

“Well when you say it like that it sounds ridiculous.” David huffed.

“It is a little.”

“Mm, thank you for being so helpful. We should do this more often.” David snarked, “I just, I am just so scared of it, of all of it, and it’s easier if I just stay where I am, and don’t let anything change.”

Stevie nodded for a second before pausing, “you know I love you right?” She asked, frowning.

“I- I mean, yeah, and you know I do too, but this is different.”

“Why does it have to be?”

At this, David paused, and looked contemplatively down at his blueberry muffin, when he looked up Stevie was smiling at him brightly, “I love you Davidd” she drawled, poking at his shoulder teasingly.

“Okay, okay enough.” He protested, but he was smiling, “will you drive me back to Patrick’s please?” He asked softly.

“There we go.” Stevie cheered, grabbing the keys off the table and heading towards the door, with David in her wake.

***

_5:14 I closed the store early; I was hoping you’d be home already._

_5:21 You are coming home, tonight right?_

Stevie did not drop David off at Patrick’s, kicking him out of the car at the motel and telling him she’d done enough emotional gymnastics for one day.

So he walked to the store, hoping it would still be open but arriving to see the lights off and the doors locked, he peeked through the front window in the hope of seeing Patrick in the back but when he checked his phone and saw the messages he headed back to the apartment.

He breathed deeply through his nose in a calming way, and slipped the key Patrick had given him into the lock, opening it slowly and silently.

As soon as he stepped into the room, Patrick jumped up from where he was sat on the end of the bed desperately, “David?” he asked tentatively, coming to a stop a metre away from him as if wary of scaring him off.

He looked like he’d been crying, his eyes tinged red and puffy around the edges, and his shirt ruffled slightly. The sight of him broke David’s heart, who stepped towards him and wrapped his arms tightly around his shoulders, bringing him into his chest.

Patrick’s shoulders heaved as he sobbed into David’s neck, clingy almost manically to the sleeves of his sweater. After a while he calmed, and David rocked him slightly, whispering soft soothing words into his neck, “I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I love you.”

Those words seemed to break something in Patrick, who looked up in shock, “you do?” he asked softly.

“I love you.” David repeated, “I’m sorry I ran, I’m sorry I didn’t respond, I’m sorry I left you like this, I love you.”

This statement brought a new flood of tears to David this time, and Patrick took over as caregiver, wiping his face softly and kissing the tears that fell, “I love you David, I- I was so scared you were gone.”

“Not gone, never gone.” David whispered reverently. He leaned down to kiss Patrick gently, bringing him ever closer and clinging to him, “I love you” he said, “I love you.”

They traded these words repeatedly over the evening, over food, in the shower, in the bed, and this became a pattern for the next week or so, before Stevie declared that she was sick of sitting and listening to it, and they turned to her and repeated it to her.

And David never really stopped being afraid of losing the ones he loved, but he stopped being afraid to love, and instead learned to bask in the love around him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is like the closest to angst that I can get.  
> I'm really enjoying writing during the lockdown - I work at a hospital and it's so nice to get to escape from that when I come home, so I hope people enjoy what I'm sharing!


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